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He was only 34, how did he go so fast?

Back in 2018 my husband was diagnosed with cirrhosis and almost died. He miraculously pulled through and was doing really good. They were saying he was too healthy to even quality for a transplant. In 2021 he relapsed and it spiraled really out of control. This Christmas he started to get really sick again and we have been in and out of the hospital. A week or so ago he started getting a lot of fluid and we came and got some drained out. His labs were all stable. Everything was ok accept for him being uncomfortable and sleeping a lot. On Saturday I got back from work and he said he wanted me to take him back to the hospital. Since we got here everything is falling apart. They said his meld score is up to 39 and his kidneys are starting to go. They said he could die in the next few days. They are sending him home with hospice care. They said the life saving stuff will only make it worse for him when he passes. This is the worst pain I’ve ever felt. I was so angry for so long now I feel so heartbroken I don’t know how I’m going to survive losing him. He is only 34 and we have 3 little boys. I feel so much guilt. I couldn’t help him get better. He needs another three months of sobriety to even get on the transplant list. They don’t think he will make it until then.

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