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The caregiver's vigil, thoughts at the end

The caregiver's role for most is a date with the inevitable.  This is a special burden that anyone who has not done it cannot really wrap their minds around.  There is an odd relationship that develops between a person who knows that death is nearby and a loved one who accepts the role of helper in the vigil.  Even if unspoken or acknowledged there is a link quite unlike any that one has in everyday life.  Regardless of the circumstances there is a unique relationship between the main character and the watcher in this very human drama.

Most of the time we think little about our own death.  For most of our lives we see it as being some far future which we don't dwell upon.  Being a player in the drama forces an awareness of our own mortality upon us which I suspect never really goes away.

My mother passed away a few days ago and I find that my mind seems to have a mind of its own as memories of happier times rise unbidden and somehow get stuck in my eyes making them blurry.  

We live with change every day and we hear of the death of people we know and love throughout our lives but the act of participating changes you.  For the better I am hoping as I don't wish to go through the rest of my life with a rogue mind but if you ever are faced with the decision of whether to be a caregiver or not, do it if you can.  As hard as it is you will be better for it.

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